Sister's Absence Causes Sadness

Ally Phillips
2.22.08

Everyone knows the famous quote “You don’t know what you got till its gone” as used in the song “Big Yellow Taxi” by Counting Crows. When I heard this I never really knew what that was like until last August.

Earlier that year my older sister had decided to attend the University of Kentucky for college. I was excited for her since she was going to do what she wanted, play soccer for a Division 1 university. But when I found out UK was 12 hours away, I freaked out.

She was a senior and I was a freshman in high school. We were finally going to the same school again. We were becoming so close and barely fighting anymore, which was amazing for us. And now all I could think of was, Why a college so far away? I knew she wanted to get out of Nebraska, but I never pictured her going to Kentucky.

By the time August rolled around, she and my mom were shopping for things she would need for her dorm. My younger sister and I would try and picture what it would be like without her in the house, which was quiet. When the time came on Aug. 10 for us to start driving down to Kentucky to drop her off at college, we all knew things were going to be different.

Once we bought her books and she got her athletic physical, it was time for my mom, dad, little sister and me to head home. Everyone was dreading this moment. My dad went and got the van while us four girls stood there waiting. As soon as my dad said, “We should hit the road,” that’s when the tears started to fall.

We let my mom say bye first, then my dad, and last but not least her two little sisters. I don’t think I’d ever seen my older sister cry before. It was a new experience because she always wanted to be a strong older sister. She kept telling my little sister and me not to grow up while she was gone and to always call her when something new happened in our lives.

As we drove away, I realized this was a bitter-sweet moment. She was moving on with her life, but I wasn’t going to have an older sister who would always be just downstairs. My sister and I would have random conversations at 1 in the morning sometimes. We would just tell each other anything and everything. She could always tell when I needed to talk about something like a friend issue or when I had boy troubles. She was always there for me, and when she needed me I was there for her. But now that she’s in college, its changed.

Yeah we still talk, but not that often. She would call me to ask about how "American Idol" was since she missed it or just because she was in her dorm by herself. Yet before we hung up she always said, “You can call me whenever you need to talk.” Whenever I did need or want to talk to her, she would be busy with writing a paper, hanging with her friends or getting ready for soccer conditioning.

I knew I would miss my older sister, but I never imagined missing her this much. I guess I really never new what I had till it was gone.